An Incorrect Match
by lumoscrimsom
Summary: The boys start another business venture after the success of Wolf Wares - a soul mate potion which reveals the one you are to fall in love with. It goes swimmingly until Sirius decides to make a batch himself and test it on Remus to prove that they are meant to be, but Remus ends up fawning over someone else... Sequel to A Predicted Match. Rated for safety.


**Disclaimer:** The Harry Potter world isn't mine; the idea is though, so hail me minions.

**A/N:** Here we go, the sequel to A Predicted Match! I must be insane, since I'm already writing like three other chaptered fics and keep batting out oneshots, but there you have it. I need to be _committed_. But anywho, if you drop me a review and tell me you like it, then I'll keep writing, I guess. If no one asks for more chapters, then I'll leave it alone, finish my other stuff and then come back to it later. Enjoy!

**Chapter One**

"Merlin, Remus," Sirius said a little breathlessly, "Stop! Don't force it all…oh, _wow_."

James Potter stood by the door to the dormitory and rolled his eyes. His two friends had been together for almost seven months and hadn't gotten past the oh-Merlin-I-love-you-so-much-I-can't-stop-touhing- you-and-grinning-like-an-idiot-whenever-you-walk-i n-the-room-hey-let's-go-do-it-like-rabbits-with-se x-addictions-on-our-scarred-friend's-bed stage. It was going to be the death of him if he caught them at it one more time.

There was a muffled sound from Remus and James snapped, slamming the door and storming across the room to rip open the hangings around Sirius' bed, shouting as he went: "IF YOU TWO COULD JUST STOP BUGGERING EACH OTHER ALL OVER THE PLACE, MAYBE I COULD—"

James paused, taking in the scene before him and turning a light shade of red as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "Err, yeah…sorry about that, guys. Thought you were…you know…"

Sirius was stretched out on his back, Remus beside him on his knees with his mouth full. Sirius appeared to be watching as Remus stuffed as many chocolate frogs in his mouth as possible. Not the sinful act James had automatically assumed they had been doing.

"Mphlghffglp." Remus mumbled around the chocolate.

"Jeez, Prongs," Sirius smirked, turning onto his side to face James, "What did you think we were doing?"

"Oh, you know." James glowered as he headed over to his trunk, "You were talking like that on purpose when you heard me come in."

"I have no idea what you mean!" Sirius gasped in scandal, "I was simply impressed at how much Moony can put in his mouth." He turned to wink at Remus, who was finally swallowing the last of the chocolate frogs, "He's quite talented, you know."

"I honestly do _not_ care about what Moony can do with his mouth," James shuddered, pulling his invisibility cloak from his trunk and turning to face them with his arms folded like a scolding mother, "And I really wish that you would stop telling me, Padfoot."

"You're just bitter because you can't find out first hand." Remus smirked, following the statement by sticking his tongue out and flipping him the bird. James made to retort, but was interrupted by Sirius sitting up quickly to take Remus' tongue into his own mouth. James gagged loudly and chucked the nearest object at them.

They pulled apart with a wet sound that James was sure he would hear in his sleep and turned to glare at him. Remus peeled Peter's old underwear from the side of his face and dropped them gingerly. James dropped back a step with his hands help up in the universal signs of surrender.

"Whoa," he said slowly, "Mate, I meant to hit Sirius…"

Remus untangled himself from his boyfriend with a lithe, threatening leisureliness and a small smirk on his face. James gulped and hit his back on the door as the werewolf advanced, wand in hand. James eyed the wand warily; Remus was well-known throughout the student body as one of the most dangerous with a wand when he was pissed off.

"I'll do anything," James offered with a winning smile as he spread his hands, "Just _don't _hex me."

"I'll never be able to get Pete's penis germs off my face," Remus said conversationally, twirling his wand between his fingers as he neared, "I think you need to do something about that, Prongs."

"Make him lick it clean." Sirius sniggered from the bed.

"You want me to lick your boyfriend's face?" James spluttered, dropping his hands in surprise, "What the hell, Padfoot?"

"Kinky." Remus grinned at Sirius over his shoulder, before turning back to James with a suggestive eyebrow waggle. James yelped, turning to yank the door open and run from the room, leaving Remus and Sirius in hysterics in the dorm.

"He's too easy." Remus chuckled, tucked his wand back into his robes. Sirius hopped off the bed and went over to poke his head out the door.

"I think he's left the tower altogether." He snickered, pulling back inside to pull Remus close, "We have the dorm to ourselves as a reward." He winked suggestively, "Why don't we do a bit of what Prongs came in here to tell us off for?"

Remus grinned, winding his arms around Sirius and leaning in to brush their noses together, "As brilliant as that idea is, Pads, we can't."

"Why not?" Sirius pouted, batting his lashes, "Am I not pretty enough for you, Messr Moony?"

"Prettier than all the girls across the land, Messr Padfoot." Remus smiled, giving Sirius a brief kiss on this lips, "But Wormtail's standing in the doorway looking a little green."

Sirius turned to see Peter, who was an interesting shade of green, standing in the doorway, looking rather shell-shocked. Sirius licked his lips lewdly and winked flirtatiously at Peter, who swayed as though he was about to faint at the gesture. "Watcher, Wormy. Come to join in the fun?"

"No!" Peter exclaimed, turning red, "I…I was just going tell you guys that James wants to see you down in the shop. There's a guy we need to interview for the position of—"

Peter was answered by the door slamming in his face. He shrugged and turned to go back down to tell James and Lily that Remus and Sirius wouldn't be attended the meeting. Meanwhile, Remus was proving to Sirius that he was definitely the prettiest Padfoot across the land.

**A/N2:** I know it's short, but my laptop crashed on me and lost the other half of the chapter. I'm pissed off, since I lost my only draft of some college stuff and the fifth chapter of Tattoo Tissue which was nearly finished, so I'm just gonna post this now before it takes a random dark turn. On lighter news, a kid fell asleep in the library today, snoring like a pig and everything, and nothing could wake him up even though other students were running into the window to do it. Oh, the look of shame when he did wake up was beautiful. I just wish I'd taken a picture… R&R!


End file.
